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The Paradigm of Innocence by Summerdays
As an innocent child, I was weak and vulnerable — and I knew it. Experience, for me, is the path towards levity. Sure, life is hard, but it's so much easier when I know exactly what to expect. And what not to expect — like knowing, as a result of decades of firsthand experience, that there can be no inhuman monsters hiding in my closet waiting to eat me. And having enough of an understanding to justify not constantly worrying about the human monsters that may be hiding there, because I know the likelihood is so slim that it's not worth getting bothered about. Innocence is not the same thing to everyone, and it is not always a desirable state.
The Descent of Chester by Ironclad
In the darkest, filthiest corners of Cyberspace lurks Uncle Chester, the Ultimate Predator and perpetrator of the Unspeakable Evil. He spends all of his waking hours preying on the defenseless, corrupted j-pegs and small, fuzzy vid caps. He robs the fiberoptic networks of their Federally-funded innocence. He noisily masturbates, forever scarring, shattering, and devastating the lives of countless imaginary children to fulfill his insatiable lusts. Everyone knows that no monster is more vile and no murderer is more despicable than this degenerate parasite.